Have you ever felt anxious or uneasy and couldn't figure out why?
You know that feeling that you forgot something very important, and for the life of you couldn't remember what it was?
That's how I feel on a daily basis, only that feeling doesn't seem to go away., even when I seemingly remember what it was I forgot. There's different names for it, but I call it liveable anxiety, or my anxiety tolerance level. There's only so many unfinished projects and tasks that I can handle with the normal day to day underlying stress on top of that, before I melt into tears.
I used to be bad about it. I used to break out in hives and not realize I was scratching my arms until they were red. I don't do that anymore. It's taken a lot of prayer, patience, and learning to say no to people, but thankfully I have been able to live relatively calm for the past year or so.
Now, however, I am more aware of the little things that irk me and make me anxious. A cluttered home is one of them.
I used to not see the clutter, or thought the clutter was normal. I couldn't see life without the clutter. I would see organized clean homes and figured they weren't real, or real families didn't live in them. After learning about minimalism, I found it was possible to live in an uncluttered place.
This past week I have dealt with a higher level of anxiety. While much of it was caused by social situations, one of my triggers for high anxiety, I see that some of it is caused by piles of clutter in my home too.
Right now my husband is working on an amazing project, but that causes my kitchen countertop to be totally cluttered. I didn't realize how much it was bothering me until yesterday when I was making my enchiladas. In the middle of cooking I wanted to start crying. I had spilled sauce and couldn't get it cleaned up easily, and had no where to set my pans.
Typing it out, it all seems so minor, but in the midst of the mess I was overwhelmed.
Here's a picture of my kitchen with the big mess.
I didn't crop it. I want to share just how messy it is. Here is my big struggle, I don't know what to do. I know in a week or so, I will be able to put half of these things away, but until then I'm trying to ignore the mess, or clean up what I can.
I did do a little bit of tidying for my baby's stuff.
He is weaning to sippy cups, so I am hanging onto a few different types until we can get to the straw kind.
It does surprise me how much a clear or a cluttered countertop can affect how I feel. I would love to hear how you cope in the midst of the mess of progress.
Keeping up with the dishes, making the bed, and doing the laundry have helped me tremendously, but I was still surprised by the overwhelming need to cry while cooking yesterday.
Days like these make me more determined to declutter my life in hopes of reducing the amount of times I cry about anxiety. Tomorrow I'll be working more on that project, and hopefully decluttering more things which I'll post about tomorrow night.